you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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