i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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