omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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