One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
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