Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize