An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
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Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
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A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring