That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
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Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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