I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
