everyone is single if you try hard enough
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
