the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
