I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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