I can text with my tongue
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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