I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
