carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
