The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
