LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
