Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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