So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
