k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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