did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
