based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
