Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
