Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
