margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
