I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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