Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
