Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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