my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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