I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
