Please don't use social media to get back at me.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
