I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize