just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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