my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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