I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
