yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
