the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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