I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
