I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
