tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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