So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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