so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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