also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I deserve this hangover.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize