Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
