HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
