Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize