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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?

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• (949): View more from California

  Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?

  (1-949): View more from California

  are you seriously doing this over text message

  (949): View more from California

  hahaha no, but i am dumping you.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.

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• (212): View more from New York

  This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.

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• (915): View more from Texas

  I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.

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• (607): View more from New York

  They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.

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