i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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