Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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