dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
