So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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