dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
