And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
