Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
