His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
