I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize