I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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