Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
