hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
wow bdsm is so cute
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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