Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
