I'd wear matching sweaters with you
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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