I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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