So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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